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In 2004 I decided once more to try and find my dad, even contacting the Jeremy Kyle show as well as other avenues – one being the Salvation Army family tracing service.

A few weeks later I got a letter from them. Unfortunately, my dad had passed away in 1990 of a heart attack aged 55. I couldn’t put into words how upset I was. I rang my sister who was as sad as me but said we have our stepdad – but I wanted OUR dad. My sister was close to the stepdad who saw all 5 of his daughters from his previous marriage even though I was denied seeing MY dad!!!

In 2010 the most shocking thing happened – I lost my only sister aged 48 from a brain haemorrhage. more

I wasn’t told of her death as my mother said it had nothing to do with me (we hadn’t talked for several years since I got pregnant, aged 40). She always said I would look after her forever. She even told my now ex-husband she would stop our wedding??? Anyway, a family friend rang and told me the shocking news but asked me to stay away. NO chance of that.

At the wake my mother couldn’t meet my eye but this woman kept staring at me. A few hours passed and mother left and my brother-in-law came over with the woman who had been looking at me. He introduced her as my cousin, to which I replied, ‘I don’t have a cousin!’ – my mother had told me that dad had NO other family. ‘She’s your cousin …’

Then the truth comes out. MY dad was a wonderful man who DID love me and my sister so much and missed us. He wasn’t a drunk and neither did he beat my mother up.

So I’ve been robbed of a truly wonderful dad who I never got to meet.

At Xmas my ex-husband passed a message on that after nearly 8 years my mother wants to meet up with me and my daughter. At that time I thought it would be great but as we are now nearly at the end of Feb and no more contact has been made, I’m wondering if she now wants to play mind games with me. I can’t go through that anymore so I’ve decided NO.

That’s why I’m so passionate about parent alienation and the effect it has on the child forever. I promote a great relationship between my ex and OUR daughter and it shows.

He is as important to her as I am.

Susan